Whether you are a man or a woman, by the time you hit 40 years, you have definitely gone through important experiences in life. Some of these experiences include your love life. You’ve probably dated or married before, divorced or separated, dated again, and life went on. Then maybe you decided to take a pause. So how do you start dating now in your 40s?
Tips on How to Date in Your 40s
You may be worried that you are old for women and therefore compete with younger women for the same men. What you don’t know is that your 40s is one of the best times to find true love. It is because you are at that age when you know what you want. You’ll have to change your mindset and attitude, as well as the way you approach relationships. Try these tips as you seek to find your true love in your 40s:
Stay Positive
Obey the law of attraction. If you stay positive, you’ll attract positive. Maintaining a good shape will boost your confidence and help you radiate energy around you. You might have realized that you’re naturally attracted to positive people. You will draw positive people if you stay positive.
Dating Sites and Apps
Technology makes everything easy. Choose a good dating site that works for you and try your luck. Alternatively, join age-specific sites and apps - something that caters to the over 40s only. These apps will help you quickly meet like-minded people. For example, if you’re seeking serious commitments, you’ll meet singles seeking partners for long-term relationships.
Get out
Don’t rely on these online platforms alone. Hang out in places that you like, and you’ll likely meet other singles. Join a group or community that shares your hobbies. It could be a book club, a cycling group, or a hiking club. It will be easy to strike conversations with people in these settings because of your shared interests.
Be Bold
Be bold and make the first move - you’ve nothing to lose. By the time you’re 40, you can handle rejection. Take advantage of this gained experience and confidence to approach people you like.
How Long to Date before Marriage in Your 40s
There is no definite period for people to date before they decide to tie the knot. But when you are in your 40s, you feel like time is not on your side. You are, therefore, more inclined to push your partner towards marriage after brief dating. It is not advisable. For starters, that’s not enough time to know the person. Therefore, you’ll get a wife or husband that you don’t know well enough - inside and out.
The dating period is the right time to know your partner well enough. Can you handle their habits? If you can’t handle them as a girlfriend, you won’t manage as a wife. Therefore, you should date long enough to know and appreciate the other person, understand their flaws, and decide if you can make the compromise. Some couples decide to cohabit before marriage. Depending on your religious or cultural beliefs, this might not be a good idea.
The longer you date, the lower the probability you’ll divorce or separate when married. Dating for a period of one to two years lowers the chances of separation by 20 percent. Dating for three years lowers the probability of separation by 50 percent. The more you know your partner while dating, the less the likelihood of separating once you get married.
Rather than checking how long you’ve been dating, make an assessment of how well you know your partner. However, there is a bare minimum for the dating period. Trust your instincts. Get into marriage when you are ready.
Marriage in Your 40s: What You Need to Know
The 40s can be a challenging period during the marriage. For couples who have been married before their 40s, the 40s usher in an era when most couples divorce due to infidelities, frequent arguing, lack of intimacy, financial problems, and breakdown in communication. So what happens when you get married in your 40s? Do you go through the same challenges instantly, or are you now mature enough to overcome these obstacles?
A lot of things change with age, making marriage in your 40s different from marriage in your 30s or 20s. For example, your body has started to age. There will be less craving for sex. On the positive, you are more likely to have more free time in your 40s than in your younger years. It means more quality time shared with your family.
Considering the challenges of getting married in your 40s, you might be asking yourself the perfect age to get married. According to a study by Sociologist Nick Wolfinger of the University of Utah, marriage's ideal age is between 28 and 32. The sociologist conducted a study which found that getting married too early is risky, and getting married too late is also risky. Wolfinger concluded that your late 20s and early 30s are the right time for marriage.
Despite Wolfinger’s findings, there is no consensus among experts on the right age to get married. Regardless of what experts say, you should only get married when you feel you are ready for the commitment. If that age is 40, so be it. There are several indicators to show you are not ready yet for marriage.
Dating for a short period is not enough to get you prepared for marriage. If you are not comfortable sharing your thoughts and deep secrets with your partner, you are not ready for marriage. Besides, if you cannot handle your misunderstandings or fights as mature people, that union is not for you. The same applies if you don’t fight at all. If you find yourself having a wandering eye while still dating someone, you’re not ready for marriage.
One of the most important things in a marriage is trust. Once you lose trust while dating and it becomes impossible to restore it, marrying that person will not be a good idea. A conflict of interest or mismatch of goals might also indicate that you are not ready to marry a specific person. For example, you may wish to take your time before getting children, while the other party wants children ASAP.