Dating as a single parent is different from when you didn’t have children. When kids are involved, many new factors come into play. If you are a single mom, you are not only looking for a lover and partner, but also seeking a father figure for your children. Whether a man takes you to cloud 9 or not, your children come first.
The Ups and Downs of Single Parent Dating
Therefore, it is important to be cautious in your quest for a new romantic relationship as a single parent. What kind of a person are you looking for? Are you willing to date or marry another single parent, or that just increase the burden? Are you willing to have your children fully adopted by your new partner or not? These are essential questions to ask when you are about to enter a serious and long-term relationship or marriage.
How to Date as a Single Parent
You should follow several single parent dating rules to ensure you have a healthy relationship with your partner and children. Taking a different approach means there will be collateral damage in the relationship, either your children or husband or even yourself.
A situation where your children and partner are competing for your attention never should arise. Often, children feel some form of insecurities when their single parent is dating. Important to note that dating a new person does not necessarily make you a family. You should therefore attend to the needs of both your partner and children. Take everything slow as you observe the potential of developing a stepfamily relationship.
Parents who are recently divorced, widowed, or separated should avoid rushing into new relationships as some form of therapy, healing, or way of forgetting past heartbreaks. In addition, when you finally meet someone after a significant period of time from a previous relationship or marriage, your dating period should be long enough before deciding to marry.
Acknowledge Fears of Your Children
Whether your children are still toddlers or old enough to give you grandchildren, they still hold some fears about your dating life. The kind of men you decide to date or marry will either extinguish these fears or reinforce them. If it was their wish, most children of single parents would not want changes to their family. Help your children overcome these fears through good communication and good choices of the guys you decide to date.
This Is How to Start Dating as a Single Mum
Single moms face unique challenges when trying to date. Parenting is difficult enough to bring a new person into your life, and your children’s lives require some compromise. You deserve some love and romance, especially if you’re still a young mother with a whole life ahead of you.
Don’t start dating until you’re ready. Otherwise, you’ll end up having multiple short-term flings with different guys. That kind of lifestyle is not healthy for your children and yourself. Although it’s recommended you take your time, don’t wait for too long before you start dating again.
Create a profile on an online dating site and start meeting single men in your area looking for women. Make it clear that you are a single mom to meet someone who is ready to date you. You can also opt for niche dating sites that cater to single moms.
One of the major dilemmas faced by single moms while dating is introducing kids to their boyfriends. You should not introduce them too soon. Remember you are not the only party that will be hurt if the relationship ends; your children will get hurt as well.
Enjoy the Experience
Go for outdoor events that you enjoy. Honor coffee invites. Flirt with guys online. Just have fun as you search for the right man to date.
How to Make a Relationship Work with Kids
Children should never be an obstacle when dating. Admittedly, there are challenges especially when young kids are involved, but there are effective ways of dealing with these challenges. For example, you should strive to create time for each other. Get someone to babysit and go out for a date night.
An important step to take when sure about the man you are dating is introducing him to your kids. If the kids are old enough to understand your love life, there will be fewer demands from you when going out for dates. Family outings can also be good options, enabling you to kill two birds with one stone.
What Single Moms Want You to Know
Some men have never dealt with single moms, and therefore don’t understand them, don’t know how to approach them, or are scared of them. Here is the thing; single moms do not want you to feel bad for them. They’re actually quite happy. Feel free to ask them if they need help, but don’t overdo it.
Single moms also want you to talk to your kids about different types of families. Their—single moms’-- children do not have to repeatedly explain to other children why they only have one parent. If children from other families knew about single-parent families' existence, it makes things easy for everyone.
Unless they specifically ask you, don’t assume that every single mom wants to be set up. Don’t play cupid out of sympathy or curiosity. Taking care of their children can be hard enough, leaving no space for dating. In addition, some women decide to stay single and focus on bringing up their children.
When dating a single mom, appreciate the fact that their time with their kids is precious. Don’t expect them to drop everything to meet you when their children need their attention. You can never get back your time with your kids, the same applies to these women.
Being a single parent is also a hard job, and there is no backup. For example, when the baby is sick, it’s all on the mother. She is expected to juggle everything - kids, work, self-care, taking care of the home, etc. She is doing all these without anybody’s help. If you know and appreciate these things about single moms, you are one step ahead in trying to win their hearts.